This year's Conglomeration convention felt smaller...less significant...even though a fairly high profile media guest (Walter Koenig) was the guest of honor. There weren't much to speak of in terms of literary stars and in three days sitting at the Apex dealer table I only met a handful of writers. Generally I'm talking to writers about Apex all weekend...this is the third year in a row I've attended Conglomeration so perhaps everybody already knows of Apex? Might be time to branch out...

Table sales were slow. Bummer.

Despite the toned-down convention, I still had a blast.

Friday night, I went to dinner with about 20 artists. The restaurant (Macaroni Grill) is one of those that give you crayons and encourages you to draw on the tables. So there's me, Mr. Editor-With-Zero-Artistic-Skills being all out of place while folks like Billy Tackett, Paul Bielaczyc, and Judi Davidson are drawing masterpieces on the tables.

I drew a small smiling goldfish and was taunted.

Saturday, Maurice Broaddus and Lauren David drove down from Indy to hang out. Geoff Girard popped in on Saturday night and a big gang of writing nerds went to dinner. This was definitely more in my comfort zone. Maurice and I talked about promoting Orgy of Souls. Girard and I talked shit back and forth before deciding to try and collaborate on a novel sometime in the future. Lauren David writes historical romance so we grilled her about the ins and outs of love.

Then the lot of us hit the "Artists of Apex" party. In truth, I had little to do with the preparation or organization of this fabulous party...the folks who put it together happened to be artists I've employed in the past and they were kind enough to name it "Artists of Apex." Or maybe they felt sorry for me after the smiling goldfish incident?

Naturally, I was part of Maurice Broaddus's entourage that evening. I give out a bunch of Apex Alien poison shot glasses and we do a bunch of Coconut Rum shots...er...like eight in thirty minutes. Judi had to take the bottle away from us since she needed it as an ingredient in the free booze the artists were giving out.

After those eight shots...stuff happened. Things get a bit fuzzy...but in grand tradition, here are 10 things that MIGHT, or MIGHT NOT have happened after the 8 in 30.

1. Vandalized a beautiful cake modeled after Hogwarts.
2. Played pirate Twister wearing a purple scarf and an eye-patch.
3. Squished Lauren David after doing a drunken dive over Girard to the couch.
4. Slapped a kilt-wearing dude on the ass.
5. Something happened on an elevator ride in which Girard was pinned against the wall by two devil-horned wearing individuals having a heated make-out session.
6. Elbowed Walter Koenig out of the way to get the last blueberry muffin in the con suite. Damn Chekhov.
7. Sang Filk songs about assholes from my old high school.
8. Drunkenly flirted with Alethea even though she wasn't at the convention.
9. Tried to pose like the naked dude on the cover of Unwelcome Bodies for the party crowds. Who knew my buttocks were as pasty white as his!
10. Attempted to place a hardened chocolate shell over Girard's sexy hair.

Now don't you wish you'd attended Conglomeration?

Quick reminder that today is the first day of Conglomeration 2007 held in Louisville, KY. APEX will have a table at the dealer's room. Stop by to say "Hey" to Judi Davidson and Geoffrey Girard.

The GoH is Apex alumnus Ben Bova. Also, Mr. Girard will be hosting a writing workshop that is open to all attendees of the convention.

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