This year's Conglomeration convention felt smaller...less significant...even though a fairly high profile media guest (Walter Koenig) was the guest of honor. There weren't much to speak of in terms of literary stars and in three days sitting at the Apex dealer table I only met a handful of writers. Generally I'm talking to writers about Apex all weekend...this is the third year in a row I've attended Conglomeration so perhaps everybody already knows of Apex? Might be time to branch out...

Table sales were slow. Bummer.

Despite the toned-down convention, I still had a blast.

Friday night, I went to dinner with about 20 artists. The restaurant (Macaroni Grill) is one of those that give you crayons and encourages you to draw on the tables. So there's me, Mr. Editor-With-Zero-Artistic-Skills being all out of place while folks like Billy Tackett, Paul Bielaczyc, and Judi Davidson are drawing masterpieces on the tables.

I drew a small smiling goldfish and was taunted.

Saturday, Maurice Broaddus and Lauren David drove down from Indy to hang out. Geoff Girard popped in on Saturday night and a big gang of writing nerds went to dinner. This was definitely more in my comfort zone. Maurice and I talked about promoting Orgy of Souls. Girard and I talked shit back and forth before deciding to try and collaborate on a novel sometime in the future. Lauren David writes historical romance so we grilled her about the ins and outs of love.

Then the lot of us hit the "Artists of Apex" party. In truth, I had little to do with the preparation or organization of this fabulous party...the folks who put it together happened to be artists I've employed in the past and they were kind enough to name it "Artists of Apex." Or maybe they felt sorry for me after the smiling goldfish incident?

Naturally, I was part of Maurice Broaddus's entourage that evening. I give out a bunch of Apex Alien poison shot glasses and we do a bunch of Coconut Rum shots...er...like eight in thirty minutes. Judi had to take the bottle away from us since she needed it as an ingredient in the free booze the artists were giving out.

After those eight shots...stuff happened. Things get a bit fuzzy...but in grand tradition, here are 10 things that MIGHT, or MIGHT NOT have happened after the 8 in 30.

1. Vandalized a beautiful cake modeled after Hogwarts.
2. Played pirate Twister wearing a purple scarf and an eye-patch.
3. Squished Lauren David after doing a drunken dive over Girard to the couch.
4. Slapped a kilt-wearing dude on the ass.
5. Something happened on an elevator ride in which Girard was pinned against the wall by two devil-horned wearing individuals having a heated make-out session.
6. Elbowed Walter Koenig out of the way to get the last blueberry muffin in the con suite. Damn Chekhov.
7. Sang Filk songs about assholes from my old high school.
8. Drunkenly flirted with Alethea even though she wasn't at the convention.
9. Tried to pose like the naked dude on the cover of Unwelcome Bodies for the party crowds. Who knew my buttocks were as pasty white as his!
10. Attempted to place a hardened chocolate shell over Girard's sexy hair.

Now don't you wish you'd attended Conglomeration?

Over at the new Apex forums, Geoffrey Girard (author of the CAIN XP11 serialization) sums up Apex Digest better than I've ever been able to in four years.

"...I actually think issue 11 is VERY APEX and has plenty of horror. Hell, my tale ALONE had: genetic monsters, dissected girls, systematic child abuse, fetus tossing, teenage spree killing, two brutal stabbings, adult nightmares, famous serial killers, ghosts, evil scientists, an abduction, and a haunted mine. Ok, so I couldn’t figure out how to fit a vampire in. ; ) In short, none of the tales in APEX would work if you took out the sci-fi or horror. They can’t stand alone in the one genre. “Uncanny” is a truly dark and disturbing short tale, but only it works with the science. “Ray Gun” and “Moldy Dead” start with a sci-fi premise but get “Bradbury-October Country” dark in a real hurry. They’re brutal tales of spiraling murder, made possible only with the sci-fi. “Spinnetje” could be any Leisure Book possession tale, but it’s a demon of science… In the beginning, APEX rejected two or three stories of mine for being lovely but “not APEX enough.” So, I kept reading what APEX was doing and tried again. I thought one was perfect, and they said NO. I thought one was borderline, and it’ll appear next issue (after being bought 18 months ago)! The Cain series was pitched on the spot to Jason based on an idea I’d had on the way down to an APEX event. I literally started from the idea of: “What would be the coolest, most interesting blend of science and horror for APEX magazine?” with no other market or goal in mind. It was a worthwhile exercise."

Thank you, Mr. Girard.

FWIW, we bought the story right before he pitched CAIN to me, and decided to run CAIN before the story since Steve Savile's TEMPLE series had just completed. Thus the 18 month lead time.

Get all four issues of Apex Digest containing Geoffrey Girard's serialized horror novella CAIN XP11, parts 1-4.

$15.00

First five people to email me at jason@apexdigest.com will win!

Jason S

Let's talk Geoff Girard for a moment.

I've known Geoff for awhile. He's like me, a hanger-on type of guy at a convention, blends into the crowd, likes to make smart-ass remarks about stuff. Except we don't blend well. Me, I'm a bulky guy, pasty white skin, rather lacking of hair on the crown. Geoff, he's this darkly tanned fella, long, shiny dark hair. And he wears these glasses that makes him all intellectual looking.

Forever, I've thought "Gee, that Girard, he sure is a swell guy."

Then today I received the first part of his Apex serialization. It's called CAIN-XP11: THE VOICE OF THY BROTHER'S BLOOD.

I can tell you now that it's going to make some waves. Might even upset some people. And yes, it is possible that it might make the baby Jesus cry. The piece is bold storytelling. Gory, gruesome, and (like Savile's TEMPLE series) relentlessly dark.

Perfect for Apex.

Now I look back to all those times I was around Geoff Girard. How freely I placed my life on a platter for this madman. Thankfully, I'll know better next time.

And after issue 9 comes, so will you.